Electronic Arts (EA), announced Friday the company’s first fully woke video game named White Savior. At a press release at the Redwood City cemetery in front of the toppled statue of representing a Yankee union soldier. EA’s CEO Andrew Wilson announced the release after a Black Lives Matter ceremony while taking a knee and asking forgiveness for “not doing more.”
“Listen before we go further into the details of this video game, which I must say is quite brilliant I wanted to take a knee in front of a person from each disenfranchised group that I was told by HR was disenfranchised. I have in front of me a bisexual African American, a Native American dragon kin, an incarcerated child molester and Elizabeth Warren. I ask you on a single knee for your forgiveness.”
After the touching ceremony the CEO, who professed to not actually playing video games, handed the press conference over to Greg Miller to outline the new revolutionary game which has a similar structure as games such as Civilization except that instead of spreading colonialization you fight to stop it.
“We thought it would be fun to make a game the speaks to the girls on Tumblr. We call them our woke fam. Just imagine if America didn’t exist as it does today? If this huge mistake of colonizing every continent on the planet just didn’t happen… if EA didn’t happen.
You will play the chief of a woke tribe, it will be similar to other historical simulated games there will be resource gathering however here the resources will be spray paint cans and bricks. You will also be allowed to interact with the native populations teaching them the benefits of experimenting with your sexuality, cosplay and the virtues of gender studies.”