Former senate candidate caught with two women in hotel room comes out as straight

In a shared address former federal senate candidate Billy Hancock with the media standing by his wife Angela Hancock. Just two weeks from a scandal that rocked his family showed photos of him with two women in the low end motel chain Days Inn. Sobbing in front of his wife of 30 years Billy admitted to having sex with the 2 women coming out of the closet as a straight cisgender male.

“I’m very sorry to my loving wife of 30 years who has put up with me for all the good times and bad. I have no idea how she deals with the shame of me coming out as straight and not using the conventional political approach from my Democrat colleagues of using butt boys.”

Cigarrette butts from the room where alleged affair took place

 

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LGBT pets lag behind humans rights in spite of gay, transgender parks

SAN FRANCISCO – Without a doubt, 2015 was a huge year for LGBT rights in the United States, thanks to the Supreme Court ruling in favor of same sex marriage and the arrest of Kim Davis. Full steam ahead for a more fully liberated society in 2016! Or maybe not… according to gender study researchers at the Wesleyan University, who point to the lackluster number of gender reassignments of pets. While Americans have embraced different sexual identities of each other, we sadly have left our four legged friends behind.

San Francisco and Madison become the first cities in the country to open gay and transgender pet parks but according to veterinarian gender researcher Katherine Schultz, gender dysphoria continues to be the most under diagnosed disorders in the feline species.

“Cats are suffering from more sexual identity issues than any other species in the animal kingdom, many even surprisingly have no sexual identity whatsoever. This would likely explain why cats do not like to be dressed up, whether it’s a tuxedo or formal dress… they detest it.

On the other end of the spectrum, male dogs have been observed to have higher prevalence of bisexuality as they are inclined to hump just about anything put in front of them.”

On June 24th, when San Francisco opened up the world’s first Gay Dog Park they also passed laws to finally allow female dogs to hike their legs up to urinate on any hydrant or tree in the city regardless of how messy it seems to unsuspecting strangers. Bathroom habits of male and female animals may seem small but they play an important role in sexual liberation according to researches.

Sadly, the national spotlight continues to evade our favorite members of the animal kingdom as senate bill SB1210 has stalled in the senate. This crucial bill would have finally allowed veterinarians to determine when their patients were born with the wrong sexual glands and perform reassignment surgery (without human companion’s approval). As 2017 quickly approaches, many wonder if our four legged friends will ever experience true liberation, due to gridlock in the senate… it seems that many of them will continue to wait.

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