San Francisco’s new family leave act to finally allow husbands to bond with wife’s boyfriend’s infant

Blended cuckhold families throughout the valley are celebrating the decision by San Francisco’s Board of Supervisors to provide paid family leave for married couples whose spouse has a child outside of the marriage. Starting January 1st, husbands will finally have the ability to receive 6 months of paid leave to assist their wives in raising another man’s child.

Families like Carl's will no longer have to sacrifice finances for family
Families like Carl’s will no longer have to sacrifice finances for family

Carl Cuck is one particular victim of the current circumstances which forced him to choose between paying the bills or bonding with his wife’s boyfriend’s infant.

“Prior to this bill, if I wanted to help out my wife and her boyfriend, I was limited to cooking them a meal or babysitting on date night. Everyone knows the first few months is crucial and I haven’t really had much time to bond with that little guy.”

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California raises minimum wage to $100/hr retroactively to 1960

SACRAMENT, CALIFORNIA – In a landmark move for pay equity in America, California Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill raising the state’s minimum wage to $100/hr. This coming only three days after the state’s passage of a $15/hr minimum wage was deemed insufficient and subsequently met with violent protests and 5 deaths. This latest move, lauded by the treasury department, is expected to bring the Golden State record surpluses as more people move up into the 45% tax bracket.

The protests (which broke out Monday evening) seemed to calm down last night after the California National Guard distributed brownies wrapped in hemp paper announcing the $100/hr minimum wage. The bill’s passage has finally squelched three days of guerrilla warfare by protestors wearing Che Guevara and Bernie Sanders paraphernalia.

Lennon & Che
John Lennon & Che Guevara jam session after expunging a few Nixon supporters

Two key provisions of the bill’s passage were to handcuff companies from leaving the state and making the minimum wage hike retroactive to January 1st 1960, which would result in back pay for workers who have been underpaid for decades. Additionally, companies will not be able to leave the state of California for any of the other 49 states, with an exception of offshoring work to one of three designated third world progressive countries including: Mexico, Venezuela and Brazil.

UPDATE: In response to criticism from the California Small Business Administration in regards to the inability of small business to compensate current and former employees for backpay, the state has announced new provisions to help small business in California to continue limp along and struggle to make ends meet.

“We’re pleased to announce that the state of California will be providing support to small businesses who owe $850,000 or more in backpay to employees. Our new state sponsored home-equity loans will help provide small businesses with liquidity necessary to continue running their businesses. Alternatively, small business owners may liquidate their personal retirement accounts such as 401k or Roth IRAs for a one time penalty of 15%.”

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Poll: Americans Increasingly Believe Income Inequality Favor Stealing from ‘The Joneses’

Recent poll from Reuters indicates that Americans are increasingly warming up to the concept of Income Inequality as a solution to their problems.  After decades of blaming the poor and downtrodden for their problems it appears that Americans have shifted towards blaming the wealthy.  Pollster cited newer generations seem warmer to income redistribution:

After decades of American exceptionalism where we saw young people admire the wealthy we finally see the tide shifting.  Fewer people want to be seen as wealthy.  Even teachers and parents play a role as we see more of them nurturing their own personal failures into children.  This has been an key tool in educating new generations on income in equality.  Why “keep up with the Joneses” when you can “steal from the Joneses.”

  • 89% – Americans in poverty believe that millionaires live in solid gold houses
  • 98% – Wealthy millennials who would steal more from their parents
  • 62% – Americans who no longer want to keep up with rich neighbors
  • 56% – Registered voters who consider stealing a neighbor’s riding lawnmower
  • 85% – Americans would favor stealing from other wealthy nations

When respondents were asked what they would do with stolen wealth:

  1. Eat out more
  2. New smartphone
  3. Time off from work to watch Netflix
  4. Designer clothes
  5. Shop at WholeFoods
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