Subtle Cocktail Recipes for the One Percenters

If you are one of the many Americans who would love to live like a One Percenter but are closer to living under a bridge than spending a night in the Plaza hotel, consider our list of Cocktails from some of the world’s most famous One Percenters.

Elizabeth Taylor’s ‘Blood Diamond’ – using diabetic needle, let enough blood over a diamond for two drops to fall into the glass, 1 jigger St Germaine, 1 jigger Vodka; shake ingredients and serve in martini glass garnished with star fruit or the ‘most expensive fruit you can find’
-“As I said before, if I bleed for the diamonds then what more can you ask of me? Wait, what was the question?”

Bill Cosby’s ‘Back Stage’ – drop two roofies at the bottom of a champagne glass, fill 3/4 way with sparking wine, top with Everclear
-“When you are looking to seal the deal without the squeal, this drink is the real deal.”

Jerry Jones’ ‘Blue Star’ – in a traditional highball glass filled with ice add vodka (Tito’s) and garnish with body glitter and silver mascara
-“For when you f*ck up and wake up in Houston. Well I guess that’s two of the same thing.”

Jay-Z’s ‘Stash Spot’ – in a highball glass filled halfway with ice add 3 jiggers of Hennessy and garnish with an orange rind
-“This drink helps dulls my senses enough to deal with some of the biggest psychopaths in this industry… well this drink and 6 lines of coke.”

Kim Kardashian’s ‘Nude Selfie’ – 1 raw egg yoke, 1 jigger cognac (Henessey), 1 jigger Grey Goose Pear, 1/2 jigger Goldschläger, juice from half a lemon; shake all ingredients with ice and serve in a chilled martini glass
-“This is like totally my favorite drink to relax before taking an accidental fully nude selfie”

Rupert Murdoch’s ‘5th Wife’ – 1 jigger sake, 1 jigger lychee liquor, 1 jigger Patron (tequila), 1/2 jigger licorice liquor; shake with ice and serve in a chilled martini glass
-“I’ve never tried these ingredients together but I figured this drink has to work out better than the last four”

Rockefeller’s ‘First Billion’ – In a highball glass drop in 1 sugar cube peppered with bitters and mashed into a fine grit. Add ice, 2 jiggers of American Rye Whiskey and 1/2 jigger of Fireball Whiskey stirred well and garnished with an orange rind
-“My butler made me the curious drink after my first billion and I credit it with my good luck ever since.”

Warren Buffett’s ‘Breakfast’ – 1/2 jigger coffee liquor, 1/2 jigger of Sambuca and 1 shot of Espresso; stir together and serve in a large mug
-“While I’m not a heavy drinker, this refreshing cocktail helps me feel like the self loathing rich person I am while I cope with my vast wealth.”

Woody Allen’s ‘Taboo’ – fill a highball glass with ice, add two jiggers of Soju topped off with seltzer stirred gently
-“Preferably you want to use the youngest Soju imported from South Korea, it tastes better if it’s not given the chance to age.”