ISIS denies responsibility for feeding starving orphans in Syrian town

DAMASCUS, SYRIA – The international world is still puzzled at the recent food care packages that arrived anonymously on Saturday in the war-torn town of Damascus. So far, no coalition forces has claimed responsibility for the food which showed up mysteriously early Saturday morning prompting Islamic State official from clearing up any rumors that they perhaps provided food for the starving orphan children of Damascus. In an official statement, they denied any responsibility for the works of charity:

“We absolutely deny these rumors that we had anything to do with ‘care packages’ or food for starving children in Syria in Damascus or anywhere in Syria. The West, including United States, continues to spread propaganda that is evil, vile and a threat to all Muslims everywhere.”

ISIS is still reeling from recent strings of losses including losing all of their first battles against people who are actually armed with weapons, circumstances that has caused them to lose three quarters of their territory in Syria.

Sunday morning, a new press release was translated from Arabic where the Islamic State seems to be shifting from fears of appearing weak and sympathetic by declaring responsibility for new hosts of plagues on the earth including “sexually transmitted diseases, internet viruses, and global warming everywhere” and that they [ISIS] should be considered “more dangerous than ever.”