Cruz for president campaign handing out gloves to help voters avoid negative feelings

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS – Ted Cruz for President Campaign officials located at multiple polling locations throughout Ohio and Illinois are handing out latex gloves on this Super Tuesday 2. All this to combat the ‘gross’ or ‘icky’ feelings people reported having voted for him during the last Super Tuesday.

One such Cruz voter was Melinda Moss, former Army sergeant, devout Christian, and twice-divorced mother of three, describes her experience in the voting booth to her feelings of PTSD she suffered from her experiences in Iraq.

“I went into the booth knowing that Cruz was the right candidate, but I hesitated and voted for the other Mexican fellow… the little one.”

flavored-latex-gloves
Tasty latex gloves may also provide voters with gustational as well as tactile post-election soothing

The Cruz campaign’s hope is that these new gloves prepare voters entering the booth with feeling a little insulation from the decision they are making. However, it could backfire if Trump voters have their way.

In related news GlaxoSmithKline, the maker of TUMS®, is expecting a record profit this fiscal year.

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