Ben Carson announces end of Republican nomination, launches Independent bid for presidency

AMERICAN SAMOA – Retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson has announced the end to his campaign for the Republican nominee.  Upon losing a tough race on Super Tuesday the retired neurosurgeon subsequently spent two weeks relentlessly campaigning in American Samoa only to find that the territory is not set to vote for over two more weeks, on March 22nd, when all of the territories 9 delegates are up for grabs.

“It was never explained to me that the Republicans vote in American Samoa after the Democrats vote for their nomination.  I’m still trailing here and it’s clear that if I cannot win in this pivotal location then I do not have a path forward in the nomination process.  As you all know, our campaign has been in American Samoa for two weeks stumping very hard for these 9 delegates but it’s now clear that we will not walk away with the victory here.”

American Samoa plays a small role in the nomination process as a US territory does not vote in the general election because it is not a US state.

UPDATE: At a press conference at Baltimore’s Washington International Airport, the retired neurosurgeon, announced he will run for President of the United States as an Independent, denying the American people’s desire to forget about his presidential bid altogether:

“On the flight home my staff reminded me that American Samoa does not vote in the general election which I was very confused about.  I mean how do they get to vote in the primaries if they aren’t allowed to vote in the general election?  I’m looking at joining the debate stage in September and October, perhaps I will be joining Hillary and Trump on stage, perhaps not.”