Ted Cruz seeking friends, joins Big Brothers Big Sisters

HOUSTON, TEXAS – Big Brothers Big Sisters of Houston welcomed new member U.S. Senator Ted Cruz on Friday who is aiming to prove Trump wrong on the accusation that he has no friends.

“Donald has no idea what he’s talking about. All of my family including my children are my friends. Certainly there are perception issues that we are wrangling with and I’m sure many of these children will want to be friends with a US Senator.

The senator welcomed by tepid children at first until displaying his vaunted charisma and holding out some candy offering to take them to the mall or buy them any game that wasn’t rated M (mature). Upon being welcomed by a new adopted little brother he gloated:

I’m delighted to have the company of this new friend and little brother Bobby. Someone who doesn’t mind joining me at a prayer breakfast, church potluck or hang around the house and play the Wii. I have one heck of a backhand on Wii tennis though I have to warn you.”