ORLANDO, FLORIDA – Presidential candidate Jeb Bush took a break from the political campaign Friday to return to his home state of Florida joining Walt Disney Parks and Resorts Inc representatives announcing a thrilling new ride for the entire family. The ‘Low Energy Jeb Bush’ rollercoaster is expected to round out the amusement park’s children rides and was described as the “safe choice for children” with “inoffensively wide appeal”:
“We’re thrilled to announce the first rollercoaster designed with safety first. The Low Energy ride will be both our most exciting and slowest rollercoaster with a personal guarantee to never cause nausea,whiplash or any unpleasant feelings whatsoever.”
The ride is expected to arrive in Disney World Orlando by summer 2016.
UPDATE: Donald Trump has responded to his opponents new rollercoasters
“His rollercoaster is an absolutely embarrassment for all Americans, only a p*ssy would take a ride on anything with the name Bush on it.
Next year when I’m elected president I will commission Six Flags to build a rollercoaster which will guarantee loss of limb or death.”