EU’s Olive Branch to Middle East, Votes to Rename Countries in Arabic

BRUSSELS – The European Union anonymously approved measures which will standardize European maps in Arabic.  Starting February 1st, all EU member countries will rename their cities in Arabic in hopes to make recent refugees feel more welcome and encourage more to emigrate.

United States President Barack Obama lauded the move as a “step in the right direction.”  Mr. Obama continued:

“I only wished I had championed this worthy cause instead of the Affordable Care Act. Given the strong alliance between Republicans, Big Oil, and various Middle East royalty this could well have been the most bipartisan our country has been since V-Day.”

New Maps in Arabic
New Maps in Arabic

A similar bill has been proposed in the U.S. House of Representatives which is scheduled for committee, with only large protests coming from sanctuary cities such as Los Angeles, Miami, and Houston.  EU Commission President Donald Tusk expresses the significance of this peace accord with the people from the Middle East:

“This is really just a first of many measures to help welcome the refugees, we really wanted to roll out the red carpet for them and make them feel at home.  As we stand up to right-wing extremists in our own European countries it’s important to note that militants groups in the Middle East such as ISIS, Al Qaeda and The Taliban have been completely mis-characterized by malcontent Western media such as Charlie Hebdo.”