WASHINGTON, DC – President Barak Obama has officially stepped down as 44th president of the United States as our country welcomes 45th President Joseph Biden.
In a strange occurrence of events, during a separate announcement after Obama’s statement on gun control Monday, the now former president stated in the press conference that he strained his lower back during the winter break, likely due to intense golfing conditions in Hawaii.
“It was the day after Christmas, probably on the 15th hole when I tweaked my lower back on the drive. It’s a particularly long fairway and I swung too hard.”
The president’s press secretary took questions after the resignation, indicating that the president has filed for disability and will likely be able to collect social security early, however at a reduced rate. Obama will still need to wait a year in order to qualify for Denny’s senior discounts as the food chain requires patrons be 55 or older.
Carolyn Colvin, commissioner of the social security administration, live tweeted through the entire event prompting the president to resubmit his form online “@BarakObama please hit the submit button again, we still do not see your submission on our end.”
For his vice president, Joseph Biden has nominated noted economist Alfred E. Neuman. Biden addressed the nation this morning stating that he will indeed run for the Democratic nomination and announced his Vice President and running mate:
“I was just as surprised of yesterday’s events as you were. Firstly, I would like to thank my good friend Barry for believing in me and giving me the opportunity to serve as both vice president and now president. I also want to ensure the country that I have ordered a thorough investigation of the Secret Service to answer why the former president was allowed to play dehydrated on such an intense course.
Lastly, I cannot ignore the hand of God and this feeling that a divine presence is prodding me to run for president. Therefore, I will be seeking out the Democrat nomination and look forward to facing my challengers Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders.”