Hillary Proposes Free University to Fight ISIS

While campaigning at a roadside diner Saturday afternoon in Iowa, presidential nominee hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton proposed a global plan to provide adults wanting to return to college free tuition as a measure to “decrease terrorism and deter extremism” worldwide.

“Clearly ISIS is inspired by the average American’s pig-igornance towards Middle Eastern culture and radical Islam in general.” Clinton went on to add that her plan would also require public K-12 schools to teach “Sharia law, to help bridge the irrational fear against Wahhabism.” To maintain enrollment, female circumcision may be mandatory in some districts while immunizations will be voluntary.

Clinton meeting with Libyan benefactor of her tenure as Secretary State
Clinton meeting with Libyan beneficiary of her tenure as Secretary State

The latest move by Hillary Clinton is seen as a outflanking maneuver against competing Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders’ most recent plan to fight ISIS with “free healthcare for the Middle East.” “That is just too exclusive,” explained Clinton.